I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
