I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
