giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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