This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The uberlube is also flammable
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize