Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
