no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
