bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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