GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
