Pappa wants mamma naked
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
