I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
