I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
