i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
