so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
kristin has been a bad kristin
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
