girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
