Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you traded sex for a burrito?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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