Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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