I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
