wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
please come you make the beer taste better
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
