But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
thus making me awesome and them whores
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
