So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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