He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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