somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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