I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
