nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
