If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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