how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I believe in your delicious
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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