i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
