we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Randomize
