There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
