No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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