six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
