I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
