one two three fourrrrnication!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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