Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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