it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
