That's intense
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
