idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
