As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
