dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We need to rekindle our bromance
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
