Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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