i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
