he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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