You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
