We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
