just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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