Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I could make wine with my vomit
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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