i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
