I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just invented taco cereal.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
