She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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