that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
They took my balls.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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