Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
