Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
