I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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