Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
